Happy Red (Taylor’s Version) eve to all the Swifties out there!

The GOP candidates for Governor are trying to paint the state Red by pandering to their base, but We Knew They Were Trouble when they jumped in the race. With this Treacherous primary, sometimes it feels like there’s 22 candidates in the race. Rest assured–there’s *only* six.

Joe Lombardo knows the spineless politician role All Too Well–every stance is I Almost Do and I almost don’t. He’s taken both sides on nearly every issue since day one and that was The Moment I Knew he was Jellyfish Joe. 

Joey Gilbert has been calling out, “Come Back…Be Here” to Trump for months but now he’s in the Starlight after coalescing the conservative base. 

Despite everyone saying Stay Stay Stay out of the race, Michele Fiore jumped in anyway and it felt like Everything Has Changed.

Dean Heller is ready to Begin Again. Despite his attempts to win back Trump’s support after The Last Time didn’t go so well, Trump says We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. It’s really Sad Beautiful Tragic. 

Looks like Gilbert or Fiore may be The Lucky One and grab the coveted Trump endorsement.

And don’t forget Mayor John Lee. But if you look at his Twitter, you may think he’s trying to get to Holy Ground instead of Carson City.

This primary is a disaster and by next June, none of these candidates will be in a State of Grace. 

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